This past week I was at a panel session at Best Friends Animal Conference on dealing with grief. The presenters were Dr. Amanda Weiss, PsyD, Patty Hegwood, and Josh Nunez from Best Friends and there were quite a few takeaways that I want to share. Here are some of their thoughts in no particular order.

Each one of us deals with grief differently. Be flexible with your self-care actions and activities that align with your values. Each strategy we use may or may not help someone else.

We hurt where we care.

Find ways to show up for yourself. Be patient.

Pause, acknowledge the grief and then refocus.

Ask yourself, what is my pain telling me?

Watch for the “beach ball effect.” The metaphor of pushing a beach ball underwater and the harder you push, the harder and faster that ball will pop up to the surface…sometimes out of control.

Take moments for yourself. Check under your own hood everyday.

Remember that most things are out of our control.

During grief, we see the best/worst and most challenging times for people.

Your mind wanders naturally. Find ways to be present in the moment.

Feelings become your thoughts.

Name it…and then you can claim it. I’m sad…I’m lonely…I miss my pet.

Sometimes there is no resolution and that is OK.

Ask yourself what did I learn from this? NOT what could I do better?

Remember perfection doesn’t exist.

Our shirts have care tags. Humans need care tags too!

Be like a zebra…animals don’t ruminate.

Here are some exercises that were shared that you may consider for yourself:

One minute or less exercises…

Squeeze a stress ball.

Move and stretch your body.

Splash cold water on your face for 30 seconds.

Practice box breathing…Breathe in, counting to four slowly; hold your breath for four seconds; slowly exhale through your mouth for four seconds; hold your breath for four seconds.

Practice gratitude: I try to come up with 10 things I am grateful for at beginning and end of everyday. It can be as simple as “I am grateful for the incredible sunrise!”

More time? Five to Ten Minutes…

Go for a mindful walk.

Meditate.

Reach out to someone who is an “energy giver” in your life.

Listen to a meditation app, music, podcast, or audio book, or watch some funny videos.

Eat a snack or meal mindfully…observe the colors and aromas. Take small bites, one at a time. Pay attention to what is happening in your mouth noticing textures, feel, temperature of the food as you eat it.

Here are some other resources for you to consider:

Wolfie’s Wish

Coping with Grief and Loss

What Helps You Cope With Grief

Coping with Grief: Life After Loss

Coping with Grief: 7 Things to Remember When Dealing with Loss

7 Steps for Managing Grief and Loss